hmm..old entry =)

alright folks..i'm back..i'm sick right now..all i can do is just..sit at home n rest..feeling very uncomfortable..having a very weird sickness..it's not a fever..nor a cold..just sooo restless right now..head is aching everytime i try to do something.. i cant seem to do anything..tried hitting the piano..but lost concentration after 5 mins..the weather is just too hot..was supposed to fast 2day..but had to break fast coz of my sickness..anyway...school holidays is about to end..felt very short..because my schedule was soo freaking tight..too many activities..havent even started with my sejarah folio..well guess wut..i earned some cash during the school holidays..organising parties..non-stop..4 days in a row..baking cakes..doing name cards..ordering balloons n banners..phew..i find it quite boring now..it has always been the same thing with parties now..eat n dance floor..n i realised that if u dont have a budget of a thousand ringgit..no way u can host a "hip" party..should try to come up with something different now..but yea..my cuzzie hosted a sit down dinner..n hell yea..i was sweating A LOT because organising this function for her doesnt involve any of my brains or thinking..but energy!..soo much work..i agreed to help her..but idiot..everything i did wasnt appreciated by her..she didnt even say thank you to me..how rude..but that's her..the setting was very nice..and the night was soo serene with slow jazzy back ground music..n last minute changes on the food..we had 5 courses..i was soo busy keeping the sparkling juice flowing on every guest..i didnt expect it to be soo tiring..yea..but she's soo rude..she'll never say anything nice about me..didnt comment anything..haih...well..good luck to her..(doesnt matter if u'r reading this..)..but she's still my favourite cuzzie..anyway..yea.. sofy's birthday at ms read..again..i was down with a cold..n yea..it was quite a turn down..i guess her friends are still not matured enough for having sit down birthday parties...it was during tea time..n everything was soo chaotic n messy..well...i know i could do better if i had more time n if sofy's friends are not BORING n had personalities..then followed by zuly's party..i was expecting it to be more happening though..after talking to the decorater n stuff..on how the preparation was going to be like..n she hired a belly dancer for 500 bucks..well..this i gotta tell u..was seriously a turn off..they said the belly dancer is an arab..but hell no..she performed for 5 mins only..n holy shit..her stomach was flabby!!..n flat chested..i was like..huh!?..u call this belly dancing?!..i can even do that!..i've seen better ones..haih..n also..we didnt play any games..dance floor..hmm..was supposed to be at the garage...but then ended up..sumwhere else..it was too open..was okay..there should be more people n a very small close up area for the dance floor..but the guest who came..they didnt take the effort to dress as an arab..except for emma n stuff..she rented her outfit..ouh yea..me n sofy..we cant boogie anymore!..rigty-o..so then..i had my grade 7 piano exam..i was aiming for a distinction..well..i got sooo nervous..n yea..couldnt even press the key properly..more like..a fail!..but yea..i skipped from grade 5 to 7..soo..it's not easy okay!..but the examiner rocks..gave me a chance to do my pieces again..after thinking about it again..i think he was really nice..seriously..he was helping me to score more..u know what?!..i didnt give my best shot at all..haih...anyway..i'm participating in a chopin competition!!..weee...n guess wut..if i pass the audition..i'll get to actually compete in warsaw!..but heck..chopin's pieces are soo difficult..n omg..i'm listening to chopin's pieces right now..it's...wow...u just have to listen to it..i wish i could play like him...alright..after party-ing at zuly's crib..i managed to forget about how i did in my piano exam..well lot's of stuff happened during the school holidays though..good news..bad news..parties..good news was..i'm soo proud of my sister!!..yea..she got a scholarship...a very prestigious scholarship by bank negara..2000 applied..n 15 got it..n she's one of them..daddy is soo relief..saved his money..lol..n i had a talk with mom..she's just soo good..i mean..on how she wants us to be..leading us the way..but we're just too blind to see it..even though we fight back n disagree..but she knows what's good for us..n i realise..having good grades doesnt mean u can go far in life..because there's soo many of them who's smarter..n plus my sister..her results wasnt that "amazing"..but it's the skill of life they call it..that's y she got it..experiences..talent..that's what people are looking for nowadays..for now..i dont know how i want my future life to be..there's soo many things i want to do..but all of it requires hard work..mom says..anything can happen..but it's just that..i dont believe in something which is possible to happen..being the best especially..we think being average is ok..i think of that too at times..soo afraid to face the future..i wish i wasnt even born.......garrrr..