23rd february 2007

2am:I NEEDED MY DIARY.(someone takleh harap!=P)

*speechless*..today’s just not the right day..everything just turned upside down..first was..my birthday party had to be cancelled..i did the invitation last minute and had to inform everyone that’s it’s cancelled after that..phew..nevermind that..i wasn’t really looking forward for tonight’s party..more towards my 15th bhangra night birthday party!(if my results are good)..anyway,I received a very shocking and unexpected news in the afternoon..Ashraf got admitted in the hospital..icu man..for I don’t know what cause..sooner and later,mama updated me with what’s going on..and it seems that ashraf is diabetic..it’s a long story though..but I shall summarize it for u guys..it seems that ashraf has been consuming coke eversince he was small..his glucose level was 83 when 7 is considered diabetic..it was hard to believe because he’s only 20..so that night was my so called “party”..it was supposed to be converted to some baca yasin thingy..but they didn’t actually do it in the end..the aunties all came and I listened to the stories..Uncle haron who’s a doctor first question when he heard that his glucose level was 83 was..”is he still alive…?” My gosh..he was about to die earlier in the afternoon..struggling and screaming in pain..everything was chaotic..the only word mama used to describe the situation in the afternoon was..like a circus..i don’t know what to say..maybe if u guys “KNOW” him then u would understand how I feel..when mom told me the story..it was just soo sad to hear and I pitied him so much until I just had to cry in my room and pray to god..so the “party” still went on..except with sober looks and no music..lol..somehow,my friends still showed up..lol..when I cut my birthday cake..i was quite proud of myself that I cancelled the party and didn’t want to have too much fun for ashraf’s sake..but mom was still convincing me to have it when I was about to cancel it..so mom made a speech about my action and aunty sherry kept on patting my back as a sign of..”that’s the way it should be..”as the night went on..we received news that his glucose level has reduced from 83 to 50..and to 25..this I gotta tell u ..was such a relief!gosh..somehow I just had a feeling that he’s going to make it..so after the party..i was too desperate to see his condition..so I told omar to tag along with me..so 12.30 I went with aunty sherry to the hospital..and before that we passed by omar’s school and almost got into an accident!!aunty sherry’s gila and damn cool man..lol..i sat at the drivers seat and held up a conversation with her..then omar accompanied me to go up coz mom left with aunty sherry already!i couldn’t think of anything that time..i was shaking in the lift..squeezing omar’s arms soo tight!!it’s my first time to an icu ward..omar was calming me down..tears was ABOUT TO stroll down my cheeks!..i wished I was there in the afternoon where everything was soo dramatic and full of suspense..i went to see ashraf inside the icu room and was totally numb to see him in that condition..with tubes and wires here and there..i could see his younger brother imran’s eyes full of misery..so grown up when I could still remember the time where we used to play pillow fight and swim in the river 7 years ago..lol..HAIH..the last time I ever felt this way was when my late aunty passed away 3 years ago..hmm..my head was spinning the whole day..i felt like shit,depressed and goddamn fucked up..a mixture of everything..jeez..so the party went quite well..we watched movies,and most of the people who came were “talented” and could play the piano..so we took turns to show off our skills..lol..i played flight of the bumble bee,my way and fur elise..lol..i received quite a number of presents that I like..mostly $$$$!..but hey,good news!i’m an aunty!and the baby was born a day after my birthday!weeeeeee~and mama was wondering why aunty sherry told her i'm such a "fine" girl..i think it was the conversation i had with her in the car..anyway,that’s it..shall updated with ya’ll 2morrow..=)

lol with syaz's friends.

sofy,zules,fanna,farrah,gua,dayana.

ok can i sambung over here?hehe..24th february '07

Anyway,GREAT NEWS!he’s back and alive!lol..HOOORAY!so today I had people who came over to see my dance..lol..promote woo..haha..performing at some wedding..hmm..so yea..half of the day was spent at the hospital..thank god zuly was there to accompany me!lol..ashraf is back!!the first thing I’m going to do when I see this dude is..run to him and start grabbing his legs!!..my gosh..n tell him how I had to sacrifice my party just for his sake!..but he’s still on the hospital bed..hehe..it was really touching and SWEET to see his girlfriend next to him all the time..my god..i was telling myself if my boyfriend was ever in this condition,I’d marry him straight away no matter how disfunctional he is!sympathy man..lol..ashraf seemed more calm when his girlfriend was by his side..so me and zuly came up with a very flot assumption and lame moral values to tell our mommy..MUST HAVE BOYFRIEND in case this sort of things happen..haha..makes us HAPPY to cure faster!..lol..but anyway,this is a lesson to learn la..life is fragile..and u cant only think of god when something like this happen..god was just testing on all of us maybe..when come to think of it..it’s such a waste working hard to achieve your dreams when something like this happen..i wonder why work hard..reality is..very odd..you do something and in the end everyone will die..ok wait..i have no point..haha..so i’ve decided to change my ambition now..i want to be..a doctor!i wanna help people and work in an icu ward..lol..where I can see all the action n dramatic scene take place!..hahaha..yeap,I’ve always liked all this stuff!..then I visited my cousin with her 3 year old baby..it’s like 2 different world..one is happy and all calm..the other one is like..the end of the world!..it’s soo amazing looking at a new born baby..something just triggered me..i cant wait to have my own one too one day..lol..i know this seems freaky!..lol..but i wish I was in the same condition as ashraf..i wouldn’t mind being in his state rather than watching it..hurts even more to see it..it’s quite nice actually..everyone will have sympathy on you..and it’s the time to ask for whatever u want!..lol..haha..jk..ok TAHI again!! i cant remember what I wanted to say already..GRRR..RAWR RAWR!!BYE