hmm..old entry =)

alright folks..i'm back..i'm sick right now..all i can do is just..sit at home n rest..feeling very uncomfortable..having a very weird sickness..it's not a fever..nor a cold..just sooo restless right now..head is aching everytime i try to do something.. i cant seem to do anything..tried hitting the piano..but lost concentration after 5 mins..the weather is just too hot..was supposed to fast 2day..but had to break fast coz of my sickness..anyway...school holidays is about to end..felt very short..because my schedule was soo freaking tight..too many activities..havent even started with my sejarah folio..well guess wut..i earned some cash during the school holidays..organising parties..non-stop..4 days in a row..baking cakes..doing name cards..ordering balloons n banners..phew..i find it quite boring now..it has always been the same thing with parties now..eat n dance floor..n i realised that if u dont have a budget of a thousand ringgit..no way u can host a "hip" party..should try to come up with something different now..but yea..my cuzzie hosted a sit down dinner..n hell yea..i was sweating A LOT because organising this function for her doesnt involve any of my brains or thinking..but energy!..soo much work..i agreed to help her..but idiot..everything i did wasnt appreciated by her..she didnt even say thank you to me..how rude..but that's her..the setting was very nice..and the night was soo serene with slow jazzy back ground music..n last minute changes on the food..we had 5 courses..i was soo busy keeping the sparkling juice flowing on every guest..i didnt expect it to be soo tiring..yea..but she's soo rude..she'll never say anything nice about me..didnt comment anything..haih...well..good luck to her..(doesnt matter if u'r reading this..)..but she's still my favourite cuzzie..anyway..yea.. sofy's birthday at ms read..again..i was down with a cold..n yea..it was quite a turn down..i guess her friends are still not matured enough for having sit down birthday parties...it was during tea time..n everything was soo chaotic n messy..well...i know i could do better if i had more time n if sofy's friends are not BORING n had personalities..then followed by zuly's party..i was expecting it to be more happening though..after talking to the decorater n stuff..on how the preparation was going to be like..n she hired a belly dancer for 500 bucks..well..this i gotta tell u..was seriously a turn off..they said the belly dancer is an arab..but hell no..she performed for 5 mins only..n holy shit..her stomach was flabby!!..n flat chested..i was like..huh!?..u call this belly dancing?!..i can even do that!..i've seen better ones..haih..n also..we didnt play any games..dance floor..hmm..was supposed to be at the garage...but then ended up..sumwhere else..it was too open..was okay..there should be more people n a very small close up area for the dance floor..but the guest who came..they didnt take the effort to dress as an arab..except for emma n stuff..she rented her outfit..ouh yea..me n sofy..we cant boogie anymore!..rigty-o..so then..i had my grade 7 piano exam..i was aiming for a distinction..well..i got sooo nervous..n yea..couldnt even press the key properly..more like..a fail!..but yea..i skipped from grade 5 to 7..soo..it's not easy okay!..but the examiner rocks..gave me a chance to do my pieces again..after thinking about it again..i think he was really nice..seriously..he was helping me to score more..u know what?!..i didnt give my best shot at all..haih...anyway..i'm participating in a chopin competition!!..weee...n guess wut..if i pass the audition..i'll get to actually compete in warsaw!..but heck..chopin's pieces are soo difficult..n omg..i'm listening to chopin's pieces right now..it's...wow...u just have to listen to it..i wish i could play like him...alright..after party-ing at zuly's crib..i managed to forget about how i did in my piano exam..well lot's of stuff happened during the school holidays though..good news..bad news..parties..good news was..i'm soo proud of my sister!!..yea..she got a scholarship...a very prestigious scholarship by bank negara..2000 applied..n 15 got it..n she's one of them..daddy is soo relief..saved his money..lol..n i had a talk with mom..she's just soo good..i mean..on how she wants us to be..leading us the way..but we're just too blind to see it..even though we fight back n disagree..but she knows what's good for us..n i realise..having good grades doesnt mean u can go far in life..because there's soo many of them who's smarter..n plus my sister..her results wasnt that "amazing"..but it's the skill of life they call it..that's y she got it..experiences..talent..that's what people are looking for nowadays..for now..i dont know how i want my future life to be..there's soo many things i want to do..but all of it requires hard work..mom says..anything can happen..but it's just that..i dont believe in something which is possible to happen..being the best especially..we think being average is ok..i think of that too at times..soo afraid to face the future..i wish i wasnt even born.......garrrr..

*SoBs*

omg!!i totally screwed up in today's debate try out!how embarassing it was..especially to ms ruth and mr jacobs!..yikes!!i was quite confident i was gonna get it coz for the upcoming dato wira competition they needed only 1 bumiputera..so i was like..ok cool..my competitor was "JUST" mirza..(what happened to the malays man?!)..right..mirza's f5 btw and they usually pick the f4's and f5's..i was like..damn u mirza!and mirza said..dont worry..u speak good english..i was like..RIGHT..jangan la ckp kuat kuat malu ni..haha!(someone's line)..anyway,i entered the room and greeted the two teachers..and miss ruth said.."oooo,we have a baby"..they gave me a topic to debate about "reward's better than punishment" ..it was like an impromptu thingy..totally mind numbing!!!i knew i could do better la..i mean,a prepared presentation would be better!!SIGH!!i did soo badly!!very dissapointing laa..!!it was a solo thing too..soo i crapped like crap!!only a few words came out and the atmosphere was silent for 30 secs?..anyway..forget about that..so pn noorhana's lecture in class really had a point today..1/2 of the geography period was spent on her..lecturing and babling bout kids in this new generation..too much influences by their friends and they end up trusting their friends more than their parents..she gave advices to us to make friends with the right people who are concern about studies..and just ditch and drop those who does unproductive things..i knew and thought about this even before i entered secondary school..especially government schools..i didnt really want to make friends with the malays because i dont wanna end up using all those "dow..sial..aku kau" languages..i still kept my word until today..that's the whole point of me being a probate..2 discipline myself and mix with the right people..so probation started yesterday..i got the worst duty post ever!..it was at the basketball court!!total exposure to the hot sun!!..i kept on applying my 130spf sunblock every 5 mins..lol..benjamin and aaron came over to so called "pay a visit"..they had a BURPcontest..yucky..although they were annoying..i find it really cute though..and thoughtful!haha..i shoooed them off by pretending to write their names..haha..oh and i had piano lessons today..it sucked as usual coz i didnt really practice..grade 8 man and i'm still clowning around!grrr..soo yea..this morning,mom was telling me to be a doctor instead of an architect..i told her it was my 2nd choice anyway..Dr. Sonia.heh.and she was being soo sporting..asking me to throw a birthday party(coming soon!21st feb!remember that!!) when i'm usually the one begging on my knees to have one..but come to think of it..it's exam year..and i dont wanna waste daddy's money..coz i'm planning to throw the biggest sweet sixteen birthday party ever next year (if i get 8 a's)!the theme would be..gangster!!and i'll hire those awesome pondan-semi-naked dancers..wohooo..oh and i've just discovered that we actually have pills that could make us grow taller! it's called "teen growth"..n luckily girls stop growing at the age of 16!!which means i have at least another year to take those pills..hopefully i'll see the effect after 2 months of taking it..lol..3 cheers to the dude who invented those pills!..lol.. oh oh! and i'll be participating in the sungai buloh 10km merentas desa..(god knows when)..and it seems that,all those long distance runner takes power bar!!!it really helps!!wow.......oh and one more thing..i barely hear people speaking "proper english" nowadays..n it's spreading..for example.."u got see or not that movie?"..when it's supposed to be.."did u watch that movie?"..right..i'm starting to get this weird-super-contagious-disease-language thingy already...which will come naturally n i wouldnt even realised i've said it wrong (especially when i communicate with my chinese friends)..it's bloody not ok..!-to be continued-

lala.

Wow.i felt old..attended 2 parties today..phew..so I went to another 14 year old girl’s bday party..i thought it was just some bbq thingy..so my plan was..once I’ve reached the place…BED time!zzzzZZzz..so I didn’t really take the effort to dress up and stuff..n suddenly there were dancefloors and stuff..i was like..oh crap..somehow I wasn’t in the mood to boogie at all!..i just felt..soo tired n when I got to the dance floor I started yawning like nobody’s business..but yea..lil kids dancing around trying to do the shimmer but failed to!hahaha..that was quite an entertainment la..i don’t know..maybe I’ve done too much of this at a very young age and find it boring and common now..sigh..so I just sat on the sofa n stared at all the mortals dancing..hmm..then after that they started to gather in a circle n did some “tricks”..especially the girls..splits and stuff..i was like..man..i wish I could join em n do my gymnast too..i still remembered how flexible I was..doing flips here n there..it was the “IN” thing back then..and now..if I ever try to do that…we’ll need an ambulance on stand-by!..haha..alright..head’s aching..tooodlio!

2nd version of ME.hah.

=D goddamn it!my future is so bright till i'm blinded by it!so yea my name?wait that's not important in this case.it's "about me".well,'m 15,i'm 165 cm tall,my hair is black,i'm quite preety la but britney spears is more preety wan..now what the hell is that?!well that's too shallow to be me.soo yea.i'd categorize myself as someone "in between"..nerdy mentally but cool-hip-hop yo momma(right....) physically?..haha..so dont try to mess with me!!this is me and it doesnt matter if u hate me coz i dont live to serve other people.n like i have nothing better to do than just think of a way to solve our problem.so let me explain to u about myself from MY point of view.people find me weird.i would be the last person u would want to think of.soo my weird sense of humour and personality tends to make my friends/people minimize me.but i'm still standing.i've got the most awesome family in the world! and my mom..she's just the best..eventhough u can really hate her at times but she WILL guide u to the right path and she knows what's right..soo let's proceed with my interest..well,i believe that people with passion will be sucessful..not to be rude or anything but i really have no respect for people with no ambition.hating books doesnt classify u as the cool ones..maybe now but temporary!i'm obsessed with quotes nowadays..watching all those classic movies with mom has brainwashed me.quotes makes my words shorter and easier to describe it.example,take lives extraordinary!describing myself as someone who likes to be unique and never settle for something normal.i take risk and i'm not afraid of anything except for god.so that includes death too.just bring it on!i can be really out-going at times but i'd prefer keeping my mouth shut.observing others so that i wont make the same mistakes as them.i prefer lazing around at home rather than "lepak".i spend my free time at home designing houses,blogging,piano,dancing and lots more.it's all about passion that makes me want to do all this stuff.it never bores me.but i'm really keen to be an architect!words cant describe how much i'm into it!!but my drawings would i guess..i love looking at houses! and observing ideas.getting number 1 in class for my finals really changed me mentally.i kept on thinking it was luck but it proved to me that anything can be achieved by working hard and putting in some effort.well i'm not really impressed because i think malaysian education is waaay behind compared to the americans.they're powerful technic of teaching and general knowledge.i've come to a point that religion can be really important in life.i can never stay out after 7 it gives me the creeps by just looking at the sky.it gives me the responsible to get my ass back home and perform my prayers.so i barely miss my maghrib prayers.i'm training myself to be discipline now.but without the help of my strict parents it'll never happen.avoiding myself from even trying to smoke and hanging out at night with friends.ladida.oh i used to get really picky when it comes to making friends.u cant smoke,u have to look clean and neat,u have to be smart..haha..not anymore now after i've found out almost everyone smokes..lol.and i cant understand why kids in this new generation are striving hard to be "cool" especially malaysians who gets influenced with the americans.and soon our culture will fade away and it wont goddamn give them any benefit.well that was me back then until i got knock by a hammer!soo yea.i like to dream..but not dream about my lover and just let my hormones over flow! but heck..dreams u freakass.i wanna be rich in the future of course..so i'm currently trying to think a way that would make me rich instantly.coming up with things soo unqiue.example designing a car with hairdryers and all those make-up trays for the dumb blondes.or maybe marry someone rich!muahaha. but crap..rich boys are soo spoilt!i have soo many things on my mind till i have to carry a small notebook everywhere i go.i'm very organised.i have my schedule n it saves my life!!cause time is really precious to me..i have a mind of an adult..i prefer mixing with older people..i also love organising parties,choreographing and being in-charge.it keeps my life busy and i also make money out of it.i like to lead!i dislike very much people who judge others physically.it shows how narrow u are.so feck off.sacrificing is always worth it.oh it's really pathetic how my friends just come n go.so it's a waste of time if i start to introduce myself to u.n gosh i wish someone soooo amazing like him could walk in again and light me up again!but fooook him too.HAHA.i'm not all prepared for this "coupling" yucckee -lets-go-all-touchy-and-emo YET.unless u'r someone soo innocent and really difficult to resist!hehe NOT!as a kid,focusing on my studies and future is what i'd prefer and after that let's have a 2 years relationship and get married ok!?YEAY or maybe not.single and loving it!lol so yea i've already planned my future..and i even have book for it!sometimes i wish i could feel how it's like to be in other people's shoes like the celebrities or maybe really poor people who are suffering.looking at those preeety,famous people in magazine makes me feel like they never exist and eventhough i get to see them in reality they're like plastics!so,last but not least...PLEASE!take me to new york!!!!i want to be there and i will be there!i want to proceed studying architecture there and take performing arts!god!! new york is where i belong!!..sighh..